Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Canada (Ontario) - Immigrant Opportunities

Ontario needs the skills of newcomers and the Ontario government is committed to breaking down barriers to get them into the workforce faster, Ontario Citizenship and Immigration Minister Mike Colle told a national think tank today.

McGuinty government expanding newcomer opportunities

Immigrant in Canada has posted a comment on this article, including:

"Come to Canada, we need you, we have over one million jobs that need to be filled, apply now, we will fast track your application. BTW did we mention according to this or that survey, Canada is the Numero Uno place to live on planet earth"

What nobody would tell you is.. Yes there is a labour shortage, but we are not quite ready to give every Fu, Bu, Chu (Tom Dick and Harry) the job


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1 comment:

Sarah said...

watch out the hype has begun

Barring a miraculous increase in productivity, or an unlikely doubling of the number of immigrants to Canada there will be absolute labour shortage that will limit economic growth."
There is no way the Ontario govt or for that matter anyone can overcome the tidal wave of baby boomers retiring. That is a fact.
Immigration agents and their actors would go around the world, show the stats and start the ball rolling.

"Come to Canada, we need you, we have over one million jobs that need to be filled, apply now, we will fast track your application. BTW did we mention according to this or that survey, Canada is the Numero Uno place to live on planet earth"

What nobody would tell you is.. Yes there is a labour shortage, but we are not quite ready to give every Fu, Bu, Chu (Tom Dick and Harry) the job.

If you are from the Asia, you must first prove your english ability. it really doesn't matter. If your english is better than the average Canadian. We don't trust the english learned in Asia, what with all the accent!!! We will consider your english good when you speak english as though you are speaking with your mouth full of boiling hot kasava/taro and nobody understands anything. You must also add the required dose of 'eh' at the end of every sentence.

Although we the shortage is in the industry, we rather, you drive a taxi or clean the toilet.
We actually prefer our chauffers to be Drs. You see if we get in to any accident at least we will get the first aid, even before the ambulance arrives. After all saving life is what doctors are supposed to do..

We also like our food to be served at Tims or KFC by Engineers. You see we encourage creativity, and what better way to stimulate the engineer brain than to Arrange the salad neatly on the side or to split the bun exactly half.

If you are a computer professional, we would like to meet you.. True.. we only like to meet you, we didn't say we will offer you any job

If you are not white then sure way to get an interview is to change your name from Chu to Chuck..

If you want to be a member of any professional organization, barring taxi driver association etc..you need to have "Canadian experience". Cleaning Canadian toilet isn't really an experience. You see we want to make it an exclusive club, so we can keep our status. What do you expect? You are just an immigrant and now you want to be a member of APEGBC or CHE? (Association of professional engineers, BC.. Canadian healthcare executive)

We by the way have the right to call you names. If you are a muslim, you will be Arab Canadian, If you are an east Indian, you will be Indo Canadian. How else would we know you are not white and accidentally call you for the interview.

You must also know that, we expect you to leave your parents behind in your home country. Of course we encourage families to be together. But first you should contribute enough money to make sure that our parents are taken care of.They have to be given disability pension and the best heath care. We can't afford it anymore, so you have to contribute with your tax. By then we hope that your parents either die, or suffer major health ailments, so we can refuse the visa on medical grounds.
If neither of the (un)fortunate events happend, then you can wait at least 3 years for the sponsorship, by then surely your parents would have died. what with the average life expectancy in Asia being around 70 yrs. If you are in your 30's then your parents are surely in their late 60's so we just keep our fingers crossed.

Drugs? Crystal meth? . You don't have to worry. Now a days our dealers are hi tech. You can dial a drug. BTW don't go any where near Hastings street.. You are asking me Where is that? You don't need to know. You are an immigrant. Stick to your ghetto.

If you are still thinking this is the land of opprtunity, and have money(preferably lots) and patience( currently London waiting period is 4 yrs)..Please come to Canada... We need you...our toilets are dirty.